Why are you talking about children`s technological addiction?
What do we do when something we care about worries us? We think about it, look for information, try to sort out tons of opinions, sometimes ask teachers and doctors because it seems that these people of absolute authority will have some kind of effective answer.
Have you ever been to the situation when a friend or neighbor complains about her child’s dependence on the computer? She is clearly not happy. She is obviously worried about it; she says, “He will ruin out his vision” “He is not interested in anything else,” and these are not always words of fear.
Such thoughts are often associated with a sense of control over one's own child, and even age does not play any role here.
Some media speculates with this fear — the parents’ feeling that “something terrible will happen to my child THERE.” On the Internet, in the game, during a chat, or somewhere else, which, obviously, the parent is not informed about. And this is where the most exciting part begins — what if not? What if it isn’t, and it doesn’t even smell like an addiction?
Fear for your child is absolutely normal. But I would definitely not advise to panic, but to try to figure out what it is — dependence on technology.
Practically many people say that this is uncontrolled time that the child spends “there,” the gradual retreat of other interests — focusing only on the gadget, very often — refusal to satisfy physiological needs — there is no time to eat and go to the toilet. There is no desire. After all, the whole head is busy with what is “there.”
This lasts for hours, days, years — there is no contact with parents and the world around, and just the same need for communication can be completely leveled out — even if the parent tries to restrict the use of the phone, tablet, or computer using a ban. Or everything.
A Little Man, just like an adult, experiences unconscious aspirations, a desire to satisfy his curiosity, amuse himself, or calm down in a moment of anxiety. This is expressed through behavior — what should I do to make it feel good?
If a parent has skillfully built and continues to build trusting, respectful relationships with the child, then it is doubtful that the child will actually seek sensory comfort in something — this is how the brain works — and it has nothing to do with whether the child has any disorders — perception, speech, communication, emotional, — there are no disorders and development can be called “neurotypical.
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Speaking about cyber addiction, one cannot bypass information addiction, gambling addiction, and other subspecies. The whole essence of relationships with gadgets of children who have addiction lies.
But this does not mean at all that all children who are really passionate about technology, gadgets, or rehearsed demonstrate an interest in technology in fact have a pathological form of interest.
Spontaneous interest in something is the basis of a person’s high-quality involvement in some activity.
Controlling his attention does not always belong to him. An adult can educate and use the interest and attention of a child to achieve parental goals — educational, career orientation, developmental, and so on.
Any addiction has a certain mechanism, and help should be timely and appropriate, but this absolutely does not apply to those children who, in fact, have no addiction but have a hobby.
Many early development schools offer programming for the little ones, the development of soft skills, and digital skills improvement from a very young age. This is the most wonderful thing that can happen to a young person because the 21st century is completely made up of technology.
In any industry, and even more so, the lack of high-quality digital skills will make the life of absolutely any person unbearable, inaccessible, of extremely dubious quality, and little choice.
The world has changed, it continues to change, and children's branding based on “everyone who likes to spend time with technology are addicted to computers ” should forever leave the mind of reasonable people.
This is not so, and the truth is that the sooner a child masters “soft skills,” the better he adapts to school realities, to university, and real-life — be it interacts with people, the ability to build complex critical models or elementary protection of his own data.
Look at your children’s computer to understand how you can HELP them, and not stall their development — it is quite possible that they already know much more about themselves than you know, and YOU — like a parent — have a tool in your hands with which you can give your child all the best in this world. Or not to give.
Social skills can be successfully learned in a normal environment and a digital environment.
Speech and educational — the same as in the usual and digital.
If your child is obviously trying to be more interested in being in the digital world — build communication with him based on his interests. HIS!
Educate yourself, even though it is difficult — it is also difficult for children, but the inquisitiveness of the mind and curiosity gives a person the ability to develop.
And you must, you must take this into account.
If you are an expert in the field of education, children`s health, or anything related to this particular case, please, be patient and wise.
It does not matter how many research papers you have read, written, or how many conferences you have attended —there is a high probability that the problem with digital world presence is more connected to your hostile perception—yours, not a child.
Critical thinking and natural desire to find a solution will build a trustful relationship with technology — that's how you can understand the psychology of the young generation and their development paths.
Nevertheless, if you are confident in the use of terms, diagnosis, assessment of the whole situation and you still think that the child has cyber addiction, try the following steps:
- Count or ask parents to calculate how much time he spends on average per day using gadgets. How much a week. Visualize it on paper or a computer — visually, you will immediately see where his attention is “flowing.”
- Try to find out exactly what he does there unobtrusively. Do not give your own opinion or judgment — in this case; you are subjective and biased. This can affect not only your relationship with the child but also his parents. You don’t need this.
- Think and write down 4 possible relevant activities that you could advise to replace at least a third of the time a child spends in technology if you think that the situation is really negative. The activities being replaced must be relevant to the child’s interests and aspirations. Offering a child to ride a horse with a desire to run through the woods in a “shooting game” is obviously a bad decision.
- Noticing addictive behavior in other aspects of the child’s life is critical to perceive how the child copes with stress and satisfies his needs.
- Think about what his current occupation THERE includes that you can convert the other way. For example, in game dev or robotics, chats — in the development of chatbots, videos — in the learning of professional programs for creating video, TikTok videos, virtual reality experiences, and so on. Maybe your child will create the largest augmented reality app development community. Why not?
Try to find an opportunity to grow for your child, not to make him think the same as you. You are not him, and he is not you — you do not know in fact what is inside his conscious and unconscious thinking, but your aim as an educator, parent, doctor, or relative is to help and support with the right tools, right?
So try to see the grand opportunities of tools, offer what child is inspired about, and you will become the greatest friend, authority, and role model for him, and maybe for whole his family.
